Overstimulating Afterschool Activities

It’s back to school and your child will soon come rushing through the door back energetically waving a piece of crumpled paper in his hand and announcing that he wants to take up Judo and Guitar and drop Chess. You wonder, Why this sudden miraculous interest in Judo? After a little clever questioning your child accidentally lets slip that his friend is taking up Judo this year.    Yep, parents, it’s time put your skates on, grease your elbows and sign up your kids to several hours a week of educational activity that is real fun. But get in there now, places are limited and if you miss the boat you’ll have to wait another academic year before your child can join!   As you examine the list of options facing you, you may feel confused and a little lost.  There are so many different activities to choose from, the options are endless: judo, foreign languages, chess, football, guitar, drama . . . and the list goes on! Perhaps with careful planning you can squeeze in several after-school activities for your child and keep him well and truly busy all year round. No time for being glued to the television, or endlessly swapping messages with cyber friends . . . hum, but no room for just plain being a kid either.      Naturally, most of us want only what’s best for our kids; but is too much activity actually doing our kids more harm than good?    Spanish Pschycologist Laura Ortiz states that  above all you have to take time to  understand your child’s  likes and dislikes.  “It’s key to distinguish between a child who doesn’t want to join an activity due to shyness or perhaps out of laziness or  that he is simply happy with his own company.  Children need to make some of their own decisions and to feel in control of some aspects of their life. It can be detrimental to a child to force an activity on them that you wish them to do. Just listen to your child, talk to  your child. It is clear they need limits but it is also clear they need oportunities.”   A US study carried out involving eighty health professionals, sixty parents and one hundred children concluded that exposing them too early to extra-curricular activities is not such a good idea. In fact too much, too soon, can lead, according to André Brooks, to stress disorders in some children. So how do we know when we are overstimulating our children?    Well, perhaps we need to ask ourselves some of these questions:   ? Do we find ourselves dashing from one activity to another? Overscheduling can also affect family life as a whole leading to less time to spend on other aspects of life with your family.   ? Does your child cope well at home with “time off”? Is your child able to get involved in a hobby or game at home? Too much activity may in fact create a child who doesn’t know what to do when he or she is not involved in a planned activity.    ?   Do we base our decisions on what is right for our child, or what is right for us? Many parents feel the need to give their children all the opportunities that they never had as kids, and with the world as it is today the feeling is ever present that your kids will be left behind or “miss out” if they don’t participate in a multitude of activities.    William Doherty, professor in the Department of Family Social Science at the University of Minnesota, states that “children need to be children”. “They need time to be in control of themselves and time without adult direction”.    That’s not to say that after-school activities are bad for kids, quite the contrary; given the right balance, activities provide an excellent equilibrium and provide your child with the tools to become more socially capable whilst developing a creative outlet for a particular interest.   Even so, it’s important to set a limit. It is essential to understand that children have the most fun when they pursue their own interests – so make time to listen to your child and understand where his interests lie. In this way you can be selective and narrow down your choice to an activity that he will thoroughly enjoy and perhaps even pursue for many years to come.    It’s important too to recognise that some children don’t want to be involved in any after-school activities – they enjoy simply being by themselves. It’s important not to urge your child too much to get out and be involved, because it may just make him miserable and more reluctant to enjoy any other activity you steer him towards. In short, keep suggesting possibilities without forcing the issue.    Whether or not you are involved in any activity, follow the wise words of Christopher Morley:    “Read, every day, something no one else is reading. Think, every day, something no one else is thinking. Do, every day, something no one else would be silly enough to do. It is bad for the mind to continually be part of unanimity.”